The Problem with the self Help Industry
I’ve decided to start a new thread about all the internet trends I despise and trust me, there are a LOT of them. Weirdly enough, my focal point today is the self-help industry. If you know me, you know I basically am paying Brene Brown’s mortgage at this point. I have spent the last few years diving into self-help books trying to find answers on being the “best version of myself.” It is because of this obsession that I have seen the toxicity of advice pushed down our throats. Some of it is harmful, some glorified common sense, and some contradictory. I find a need to call it out.
I know I am not alone in buying into this. Millennials had the self-help industry skyrocket over the last few years. In 2016, anything the whole personal development sphere was estimated to be $9.9 billion. By 2022, it’s estimated to reach $13.2 billion. A huge factor could be the overwhelming about of boredom we all experienced during quarantine. People decided to focus on bettering themselves instead of other recreational activities. I mean, how many f*ing puzzles of cats can one truly do before they start throwing the whole box against the wall……(Seven. The answer is 7 cat puzzles before you start throwing them everywhere. Not that I know from personal experience or anything.)
Although millennials are the number one purchasers of personal development books, the primary audience is anyone needing a quick fix to their misery. You know, like your neighbor Linda. She’s that stay-at-home mom straight out of the Stepford wives whose house is scattered with tacky inspiration quotes from Target. In her free time, she likes to manipulate her friends into joining a pyramid scheme and brag about how her 8-year-old got a B+ on his spelling quiz. (If you grew up in white suburbia, you either know this woman, have a mom who is this woman, or are this woman.) She wants a more exciting life than badmouthing the soccer mom who forgot the dang oranges and instigating Facebook fights with strangers on the internet.
She needs a drastic change. So, what does she do? Take up a new hobby? Go backpacking through Europe? File for divorce on her husband of 15 years? Join the Church of Scientology? Nope! Instead, she decides to sell her soul to Rachel Hollis.
Rachel Hollis is one of the most well-known self-help gurus. She is a mommy blogger turned author. Her book Girl Wash Your Face was on the New York Times Best Seller for over 46 weeks! It was such a massive successful her husband even started writing books and has since become the poster child for MLMs everywhere. Hollis is just one of the reasons the self help industry is so problematic.
8 Reasons Why The Self Help Industry Should Be Read at Your Own Discretion
1. There is no quick fix to changing your life – Self-help books are not cookbooks. You can’t Rachel Ray this and whip up something you’ve been craving in 30 minutes. To change or break a habit, repetition is necessary. Through daily repetition, you can rewire your brain to create lasting and impactful changes in your life. Start small and then continue to progress. Results will take time but be worth the effort.
2. No one has all the answers to living life – No one has the magic formula for living life. The best way to learn about life is by experiencing it. With that, you will become more resilient in handling the ups and downs of life. I think it’s also important to note here that no one has lived your life but you. What worked for one person doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to work for you.
3. Positive Thinking is BS – Life is gonna suck sometimes. You are going to feel a whole range of emotions, but emotions are necessary. When you think, you heal. (Wow! Someone put that on a throw pillow. Joanna Gaines, I am coming for you!) If you are upset, your coworker ate the thanksgiving turkey sandwich your sister made, you be upset about it.
4. Happiness isn’t a destination; it’s in the present moment – No matter how rich, skinny, famous, snatched you look, it will not make life any more enjoyable for you. And, no matter if you are working your dream job or living in a van down by the river (if you get this reference, let’s be friends!), it’s not going to make you “happy.” If you want to be happy, try to stay present and see the beauty in the current moment. This could be the smell of the air after it rained, laughing with your best friends, driving around listening to your favorite songs. Happiness is more so in the simplicity of life than the outcome of achieving your goals.
5. Giving your best every day will cause you to burn out – it’s almost impossible to give your best every. single. day. Some days you won’t be motivated to get off the couch, and that’s okay. You don’t need to spin, write your book, work overtime hours or study every day. Take a breather. Go down that freezer aisle and get that ice cream that’s on sale and watch that true-crime documentary.
6. Working hard won’t always get you what you want – Failure is inevitable for all of us at one point or another. Sometimes, no matter how hard you work towards a goal, whether a promotion or swimming in the Olympics, your effort won’t meet your expectations. There may be no participation trophies here, but you still deserve to pat yourself on the back for trying. There are usually several other factors that go into being successful: talent, privilege, networks, education, experience, finances, AND hard work all play a part. We can’t all Elon Musk our way to success here.
7. Following your passion doesn’t mean you’ll make money off it. –If nothing gets you off more than carving pictures in soap bars like you’ve been in the penitentiary for the last 18 years, and that’s what you decide to do for a living, don’t count on making millions. We can’t all be artists, writers, soap carvers. Sometimes we need to be the boring CPA, so we can afford to continue our passions. Sometimes passions are just hobbies. If it lights you up, that’s all that really matters.
8. Growth isn’t a steady incline – I’ve said this before, and I’ll repeat it. Growth isn’t always uphill. Sometimes your growth chart looks like a 2-year-old just went ham with the crayons on the paper. It’s through being adaptable through the chaos where you will thrive.
While the self-help industry can be beneficial at times, it’s important to note that a 2-day seminar or a 300-hundred-page book will not alter your life. You have to change it! It’s going to be difficult, but I promise you it’s worth it. Make sure you are doing self-care during this time to take care of your mental wellbeing. You got it, dude!